Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Recession Mantra: Frye Boots

I do not need you. Sure, you're gorgeous and subtle and classic and fabulous and amazing and would probably go with more than half my wardrobe and are Frye boots that I've been drooling over since college. But you are so expensive. Not Chanel or Prada or Gucci expensive, but still... You cost a pretty penny, Frye boots of my dreams. And we are in a recession now. And, let's be honest, even pre-recession you were not exactly a reality. And I do not need you. It feels like I do, but you are not sustenance nor shelter nor water nor oxygen nor Trader Joe's... And I am not currently void of any other footwear, or taking up horseback riding, or going on a safari or inflicted with a shin condition requiring some kind of Frye-leather-contact therapy. You are simply excessive. A luxury. A golden soap dish on the Titanic. A fur coat in the Bahamas. I do not need you.

Yes, I spied a pair of your relatives on a co-parishioner and knew immediately that they too were Frye and was reminded again of how perfect you would look in my wardrobe, from casual weekend wear to church dress to work attire... And yes, I felt a longing in my heart as I watched you function elegantly amongst the pews. But then I reminded myself that we do not go to church to covet other people's boots (or footwear of any kind,) or cars or clothes or hair or babies or anything, ever. (Except maybe handbags. Because those hold scriptures, after all.)

And though I pine for you from afar and have no fewer than 673 justifications of why you would certainly be able to do everything from rescuing me from fashion peril, to possibly curing disease, I really do not need you. Sure, you were high on ye olde list of "I can't wait until I graduate and get a Real Job and..." things; one I thought I would easily be able to attain with A Real Paycheck. But here we are, out in the Real World lo these many years and yet you remain elusive, Frye boots. Your $400 price tag has simply never made you practical in my Grown Up World, and that was before salary cuts and layoffs and all the other scariness of today's Really Scary Grown Up World. But I think I love you and you love me and we're supposed to be together. But still, I do not need you. I've lived this long without your kind enveloping my legs in legendary leather quality and... magic.

So, I beg you, cease your call to me-- that gorgeous, hypnotic siren song of your exquisite soles being clip-clop-walked across a polished floor somewhere in my dreams, and more literally from Zappos.com, on sale! with free! shipping! and an amazingly non-threatening return policy. For I do not need you. I do not need you. I. do. not. need. you.
Right?

18 comments:

Mindi said...

Wow... on sale AND coveted for all these years? All I can say is that you have more will-power than me. Could you justify it by not buying any other shoe/boot for the next (half a) year? .. or year if it is really bad.

I have to admit, I've been taking advantage of these recession prices. I've seen things on sale that were too good to pass up.. I would have NEVER considered paying their regular price.. but I've found a few favorites lowered to a price I could justify (or live with anyway).. and I can now say I am a proud owner.

I'd love to say, "Just get them!" But that is my evil, shoe (sale)-loving, shopaholic side.. maybe not my most sensible/supportive side. Although, isn't it sensible (or justifiable if you wear them EVERY DAY for the next year?) It would be another thing if you just wore them once in a while.

Maybe someone else would be better at encouraging and supporting all those reasons that you SHOULDN'T get those beauties.. it's just not me. let me know... :)

Julie said...

Buy them. They obviously won't go out of style.

Kristen said...

If I need to add years to my life by enjoying a hearty belly laugh (it's scientifically proven I hear) then I read your blog. I'm so so glad you are Melissa's friend. I want you to own the boots.

Melanie said...

I support Team Frye! Buy the boots! Think of this...the more you wear them the less they end up costing. Eventually the cost per wear will be pennies and will be money well spent and totally worth it!

5th Belle Avenue said...

You're a great writer!

Patrick said...

That... and I'm sure your hubby has NEVER bought anything that wasn't absolutely a necessity while you've been going without (these boots) all these years. Sounds like it's time to start to even the score a little bit.
(evil laugh)

The Jackson Three said...

love your post, love you and love the boots. but I'm also walking through life right now saying "recession, recession, recession" so my vote is not to buy them. you'll have buyers remorse. sorry!

Mandi said...

i am crying and peeing a little bit at the same time right now! i too have this obsession but I will say I may not be as bad as you! and I certainly could not have put it in so many words! you really know how to personify an object that tempts you... food or fashion!

ps have you seen the ones on overstock.com?

Brie said...

i am convinced now that i need them....incredible. they're hot boots...

la cuisine bourgeois said...

This is hilarious...I can def. identify...and I'm not sure this helps at all, more like, feeds the addiction but this is a great place to find cheaper shoes and get some good deals: www.shoes.com

TnD said...

Frivolous. Featherbrained. And absolutely silly. You must have them. You have a big b-day coming up and just like Ian always says must fulfill childhood dreams.

Bette said...

Buy them!

Anonymous said...

I'll say it - if you can find a way to procure them w/o letting your children going hungry and/or your lights and/or your heat being shut off (or a resulting eviction notice) - do it. Ultimately, you will not regret it, and as clique as this statement is - LIFE IS SHORT. They'll last forever, especially if you know a cobbler for repairs and re-soling.

Nate and Tasha said...

After reading that...I MUST have them! Zappos, eh? I'll be checking your feet next time I see you...

#A5 said...

laurel, i am a firm believer that each year of delayed gratification you earn at least $150 to spend toward the object of your desire. sometimes $200, depending on the year. .. at around the two year mark i give in and i have never ever once been sorry. especially when it comes to boots. especially frye boots. as an owner of some fryes myself, i tell you you will not be sorry. you will not feel guilty, especially around year three of pulling those beauties on. they will still look great, they will still be your cure-all to any and every would be hum-drum outfit. . . practically an investment. and they all say now is the time to invest. . .

star said...

Hi Laurel! I found your blog through the Conroy's blog. I love finding friends! Your blog is great! We are bloggers too. Check out our blog at jeffandstar.blogspot.com See you tomorrow!

star said...

Hi Laurel! I found your blog through the Conroy's blog. I love finding friends! Your blog is great! We are bloggers too. Check out our blog at jeffandstar.blogspot.com See you tomorrow!

Carrie Whittier said...

Laurel - all of your writing is good. But this! THIS! It is so funny. So - sex-in-the-city-ish, speak to women's heart-ish, funny! I think you should try to publish it. Where can you send it? Seriously. I can picture reading this in several publications. Ian should now be your agent...