FIVE...

...things that would have made my life exponentially easier today and would probably prevented the very stressful blink-back-the-angry-tears-and-get-it-together-woman!* drive to Costco this evening:

1. A Blackberry (not the kind you eat) to remind me that my early-morning management meeting was not, in fact, at my place of employment, but at a completely different place, entire miles away. Go figure.

2. A machine that would make all the slow drivers suddenly disappear from my commute-- or, better yet, a go-go-Gadget helicopter.

3. A personal chef to have the dinner that I needed to take to a new-baby family ready when I got home (late, as usual) from work. I blame said imaginary chef's lack of existence for the sad baked ziti the family ended up with instead of the gourmet meal they deserved.

4. A personal packer to go get all the last-minute travel stuff I need for my business trip tomorrow and then find a way to fit it all in my carry-on.

5. An auto-response-generator in my e-mail program for the seriously passive-aggressive reply I received from one of my colleagues that put me over the edge just as I was leaving (*see above) that would have screened the message and returned it with a DELIVERY FAILURE NOTIFICATION: Your email has not been delivered to sender due to passive aggressive content. Please re-write sans any attachments of bitchiness and re-send.