Friday, April 23, 2010

Fun With Sky Mall #3

It's been a while, folks, but it's Friday, it's sunny and springy out, and I'm just in the mood for another edition of FUN WITH SKY MALL! In case you forgot how it works, the goal here is to spot the real marketing copy that accompanies this totally real product from Sky Mall. And we're off...

A) What's that smell? Mee-Owch! It's the litter box! Help your furry friend say sayonara to that stinky habit once and for all with the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System. In just weeks, your kitty can become a fancy-free feline flusher! Pets and humans share love, why not share TP, too? Save money on litter and scoops with this reusable kit; new from the esteemed makers of the KittyTalks Translation System.

B) The best way to deal with the unpleasant task of cleaning out the litter box is to do away with it for good. With the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System, you can teach your cat to use any human toilet in eight weeks or less. The age or weight of your cat doesn't matter and it works in multiple cat households too. This award-winning product has proved itself effective for years, and has been recommended by vets. Enjoy a cleaner home and say good-bye to the litter box forever.

C) You may wear muumuus 24-7, you may wear curlers in your hair in public, and you may knit outfits for your "kitty kiddies"-- but if you still just can't seem to get your seven cats to listen to their "mama" and use the litter box consistently, you need the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System. Your cats will never truly be your almost-human-babies until they are tinkling toddler style, with colorful adaptive seats for Boots to boot! Soon your whole family of felines will be sharing the most intimate bathroom moments. Aww!

D) Cats everywhere are pawing for the purrfect solution to housebreaking drama! As seen on The Real Housecats of Crazyville, the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System is the kitty choice for reversing natural instincts altogether. Fabulous felines all over the country are relieved to finally be able to relieve themselves like the rest of the civilized world-- in the privacy of their own bathrooms. As any good vet knows, training cats is super easy! That's why they recommend this award-winning system that will have your purrer potty perfect in no time!

E) Tired of those awkward moments with your cat when he wants to go outside and poop in public like a dog? Or how about when he has to slink off to the litter box to wee in a pile of chalky dust? It's time for the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System! Trade awkward moments with your cat for awkward moments with your friends when they see the adaptive seat in the "cat's bathroom." Your cat deserves all the convenience of jumping onto a slick porcelain surface and balancing over a specialized seat. After all, he does so much for you... He kindly destroys your couch and love-scratches your arm. He also barfs up beautiful fur balls under your bed and wakes you up at 5am for food... That kind of benevolence deserves the royal treatment: get your king kitty going on his own throne today!

8 comments:

Julie said...

I'm going with B. You're an awesome writer!

Clinton said...

So funny cause I was on a flight earlier this week and this guy pointed this ad out to me.

Clinton said...

that comment wasn't clint it was Amanda :)

berrygirl--Jaime said...

Hilarious! I think B as well. They all sound totally believable though!

TnD said...

You have got to become a professional writer my dear. I just know you could get paid for this!

Mandi said...

i can't write i'm laughing so hard! please make these more often! they crack me up!

Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Jackson Three said...

So glad these are back. C is definitely my favorite, and if that is the real one I am going to order it just because it is so awesome.